Episode 74: Lindsey Miller

Hallway Chats: Episode 74 - Lindsey Miller

Introducing Lindsey Miller

Lindsey is a WordPress pro by trade and a political junkie at heart. When she’s not traveling the world with her husband and two tiny humans, she can be found creating magic for customers at Liquid Web on the Managed WP team.

Show Notes

Twitter | @LindseyMillerWP

Episode Transcript

Tara: This is Hallway Chats, where we meet people who use WordPress.

Liam: We ask questions, and our guests share their stories, ideas and perspectives.

Tara: And now the conversation begins. This is Episode 74.

Liam: Welcome to Hallway Chats. I’m Liam Dempsey.

Tara: And I’m Tara Claeys. Today, we’re joined by Lindsey Miller. Lindsey is a WordPress pro by trait and a political junkie at heart. When she’s not traveling the world with her husband and two tiny humans, she can beat down creating magic for customers at Liquid Web on the managed WordPress team. Welcome, Lindsey. Glad to have you here on Hallway Chats.

Lindsey: Thanks for having me here today.

Liam: You’re most welcome. Thanks for joining us. Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself, more than what Tara just shared, please?

Lindsey: Yeah, absolutely. I found WordPress through the guy that I was dating at the time and now I’m married to, Cory Miller. He got me into blogging right away. And at the time, I was a political consultant focusing on fundraising for political campaigns. I tried to be an expert at both of those things, and eventually left politics and now just focused strictly on WordPress.

Liam: I want to ask a quick question about that. “He got me into blogging right away.” First date [laughter] or once there was a relationship and you started to dig into it? I feel like I need to hear more about this if you’re willing to share?

Lindsey: You guys know Cory Miller so I’m sure you can imagine. One of our very first dates, he said, “I need to hire you. You need to come work for me.” I looked him straight in the eyes and I said, “You can’t afford me. I will never work for you.” Eventually, we got married and I did start working for him. [laughter] And for free no less. Apparently, I ate my words. So politics, especially how I was doing, and I think it’s changed in the last eight or nine years, was still very traditional. You had some people who go get a website, they’re starting to take donations and having email lists. But no one was blogging about it. No one was really talking about it. So we started a blog called Call Time Blog and I started writing about fundraising and tips and tricks that I wanted to share with people. And for about three or four years, if you Google anything about political fundraising, that little blog on iThemes theme called Bonzai would be one of the first things that popped up. It really helped me being confident in what I was doing. Yeah, he encouraged it very early on and I’m glad he did.

Tara: Yeah, that Call Time Blog that you had. It was tips and tricks for political people? Was it a partisan type of thing or was it just general information on how to do political fundraising.

Lindsey: It wasn’t partisan, it was just general information and things that I did, and ideas that I wanted to give people. Consultants are expensive so it was kind of like, I always believed in people voting and running for office no matter which side of the line they were on. Although, of course, I have my own interest. I think that our country is better by more people being involved in the process. It was sort of the way to put something out on the web to help anybody running for office. It turned into something called Political Headstart which is still out there. And I do what everybody does these days. It’s a course on how to raise your first five, ten, or 15,000 dollars to then go hire a consultant.

Tara: That’s really interesting. It’s still around but you just changed the name of it?

Lindsey: Yeah. I moved all the content. I don’t blog on it as heavily as I probably should, to be honest. We all know what to do. I also didn’t update WordPress core and I got hacked a couple of months ago. I’m all of the reasons and examples of what you shouldn’t do.

Tara: Now you have another job with Liquid Web so the blog is now sort of your side-gig.

Lindsey: Exactly, I’ve been a little busy with other things.

Tara: I know that you and Cory are sort of a WordPress couple and we see you on the web and at conferences and things like that. Can you talk a little bit about what that’s like for you? Especially because Cory is one of the, I would say, leaders in WordPress and that he has a large company that he’s had for a long time and has really made a lot of changes in the WordPress space and what he’s built and developed. So I know a lot of people follow him and look up to him. And he’s also doing some great things with mental health in the WordPress space. I’m just curious to hear a little bit about what it’s like from your seat in that relationship and how you guys approach that?

Lindsey: Yeah, I think that’s a great question and I’m going to get a little warm and fuzzy. Because I think at the core of it it’s– okay, it sounds cheesy, but it’s a love story. When we met, it didn’t take long. We knew we found our person and so we were pretty much inseparable from the very beginning. We started dating, we were engaged four months after that, and married within ten months from meeting. It’s been nine years now and going strong. We just enjoy each other’s company and being around each other. And I find him intellectually stimulating and he does the same with me. It was just a natural thing to do work together as we were doing life together. It’s been really fun, getting to see him, talking to people and just how much he cares about strangers and friends. And everyone in the WordPress community just makes me love him even more. So I relished the opportunity to be able to be with him at WordCamps and watch what he does even on Twitter and how he reaches out to people. It’s just that he’s a very, very special person so it’s been nice to be able to do all of this with him.

Tara: Yeah, I agree. I just saw him speak recently and you can really tell he’s really genuine in how he reaches out to people. And he speaks about you a lot and you can tell from what he says as well that your relationship is really important, valuable part of not just a relationship with each other but how you relate to other people, which I think is really great. And also, I know your kids, too, are big part of what you guys talk about and share. Thanks for being role models in terms of having a relationship that works within the WordPress space as business people, as well as how you pull that into your personal space and how you share that with us. I think that’s really cool. I’m going to ask you a question we ask everyone. And this may relate to what I was just saying, which is, what is your definition of success, Lindsey? Personal, professional, a combination of the two. Wherever really you want to go down there?

Lindsey: I was prepared for this, you guys, because I listen to the podcast, obviously. I’m a huge fan, and so I knew it was coming. I have to go with my original answer, the first time I thought about it. For me, it’s two parts. I am an achiever at heart, it is one of my defining moments of myself. Within any day, I make a checklist. I have my daily version of success, and then I have the monthly, yearly, life-long version of success. My daily is simple. I have to check my things off my list. And my achieverness is quite serious. If I forget to get the dry cleaning or I don’t have enough time to get that done, I really do feel like I failed my entire day, even if I completed 25 other things. I really like to check off all of my boxes and feel good at the end of the day. And then the other part of that, which is probably more in tune with who I am as a person is what does success like over my life, over a year, over five years, for a longer period of time. And I think that comes down to just doing good in the world. So at some times when you can get down in this granular level you can say, what do you do work for? If you do work for good, for purpose, you do work to pay the bills, that type of thing. And I think I’ve always done– I’d probably work for free if I was doing good in the world, rather than working to pay bills. I’d rather have a not new car, and a smaller house, and second-hand clothes, than just chase after the almighty dollar, so to speak. Or if you’re able to marry those things together, that’s even better. For me, it’s just about doing good and feeling good about myself on making the world a better place. And that’s where success is for me.

Liam: I love that definition. It’s very both practical when we hear it now and also really thinking about the wider purpose. I guess I have two follow-up questions. The first is a run of your daily definition of success. If taking everything off is such an important factor to your success rate, if you will, how do you manage knowing how many things are right to put on the daily checklist? Because I have a daily checklist of about 97 things and I get to about four of them every day. And I don’t stress anymore about moving it over the next day. I used to but I wonder about that. I really wonder if you do have any advice and guidance how to make sure that my daily to-do list isn’t 97? And then to kind of balance that with your wider definition of success and doing good in the world, getting back to checklists. There’s doing good in a gentle way, giving your husband a nice hug in the morning and saying good morning, or making your children breakfast is good. There’s good in so many different levels. There’s feeding the hungry at your local food shelter, or doing something at your church. How do you approach doing good to make sure that the good you’re doing is the kind of good you want to be doing at the level you want to be doing it? And that’s a big question so sorry for just throwing that at you.

Lindsey: Now I’m going to answer over the next hour and a half. [laughter]

Liam: Sorry, sorry. I went deep fast on that one.

Lindsey: It’s good, it’s good.

Liam: You can start with the first one and give yourself some time to think about the second. How do you work with that?

Lindsey: I did not say that it was one that should be emulated by any means. [laughter]

Liam: Thank you.

Lindsey: Yeah. It probably drives my husband crazy because there are days where I’m just like, “Oh, my god. I didn’t get everything done today.” And we have to kind of sit down and talk through those feelings. But I feel like what I do is I prioritize them. Any time that I’m looking at my day, I kind of say, “Okay, here’s what I have to absolutely get done today and so I try to do those first.” But I also try to do some big ones early in the day. If there’s just a simple email that I need to get sent or a media that needs to get scheduled. I’ll try to kind of inter-mingle those so that I can be like, get some easier stuff done, add my little checkmark and move on. But yes, if there were 97 things on my to-do list, that would be a lot of unhappy Lindsey probably going on. That’s probably– I will schedule things out as well. I’ll say, “Here’s a really big task and I just know that I have to get little pieces of that task done up until Friday at noon or something like that. That kind of helps me manage that as well.

Tara: I’m a tool person and do you do this all hand-written on a planner? What do you do?

Lindsey: I have a little notepad and it says like, “Do it now. Do it later.” And then I put dates and stuff next to everything at the end. I should probably be more savvy.

Tara: No, I have to handwrite them, too. I use a lot of tools as well, but when it comes to the day-to-day, it’s very satisfying to check that off. Just wanted to ask you what your method was. Go ahead.

Tara: To circle back to the second question is, how do you think about an approach doing good on the many levels and causes that pull at your heart and at your mind?

Lindsey: For me, I think you’re right, it can’t be as simple as doing something nice for a neighbor. We had a neighbor who recently lost her husband so I tried to make a real effort to– when we make a bigger meal at our house and we make containers and send it over. One of my very dearest friends in the world chose a path of single motherhood and found someone to be the father of her child. I’ve been trying to co-work from her house and do good. And it’s also on a greater scale, too. I started some non-profit boards and tried to make donations to charities and I definitely have those heartstrings. There’s something that’s going on. I try to give more of myself whether financially or time. And to do things very purposefully towards that end. There’s always one cause or another that I’m fundraising for or working towards, or on a pick-up line with all of those things. I just try to get out of myself and try to put others first as much as I possibly can.

Liam: I like that. Let me change gears a little bit with you then and talk to you a little bit about as you transitioned from politics to tech, you were a political consultant focused on, it sounded like, helping grassroots campaigns get off the ground. And now you’re working with a website host and that’s different. Talk us through that transition.

Lindsey: At the core, I teased that being a partner manager at a hosting company is kind of like politics without some of the drama because it’s still relational. It’s about relationships and it’s about getting to know people and their businesses, and what they need to find success and helping them do that. But the transition, and I think that’s actually I’m talking at WordCamp DFW next weekend about this, about a career reboot and saying how can you take politics and turn it into technology with a little stint of a stay-at-home mom in there, by the way. At the core, I think I owe a lot to Chris Lema, my supervisor at Liquid Web for seeing skills in me that I didn’t even know that I possessed. It’s funny, we still have talks sometimes. He’s like, “I need you to create this list and whatever.” He puts it in political terms and I’m like, “Oh, yeah. I can totally do that.” He’s like, “Yeah, I know you can. That’s why I hired you and that’s why I brought you onboard. I know you can do these things.” Having him on my side, and obviously, again, Cory encouraging me all the way really helps me take this knowledge by osmosis, if you will, of WordPress, and turn it into a real career like I have at Liquid Web. I definitely have the support team around me to help define that a little bit better.

Tara: Yeah. So you went to this job from stay-at-home mom?

Lindsey: Yeah.

Tara: Talk a little bit about that transition as well and about the challenges of still being home. I think you are working from home most of the time with your kids. How do you manage that?

Lindsey: Working at Liquid Web is so much easier than staying at home with my kids. [laughs] That was a tough job. I’ll be honest.

Liam: There’s no break.

Lindsey: No. They’re awesome. I love my children, but I was really excited to go back to work. It reminds me, years ago, I saw that cartoon and it was like a duck getting off the elevator, going to work, and he had like the briefcase, and it’s like coming to work on Monday after the weekends and he’s just like, “Oh, why am I here? It’s a Monday.” And then next frame was the same duck going to work after the weekend when you have kids, and the duck’s like, “Yes! I’m so excited to be at work.” Right? [laughter] That totally defines my decision to go back to work. I was the duck going, “Yes, I need a little bit of a break and I’m so excited to go to work and use my brain and come up with new ideas and clever tactics and all that kind of stuff.” I was just kind of putting a little bit of feelers out saying, “Hey friends, I’m thinking about doing this and using my skills.” And Chris watched John immediately and was like, “Do not talk to anyone else and I have a thing for you.” I was really his first hire at Liquid Web after he took the VP spot.

Tara: Yeah. And they were starting new step, too, so you were kind of growing with them as they developed this. That must be a good evolution for you because they were setting things up and you were involved in that process, I believe.

Lindsey: Yeah, absolutely. It was like, he hired a lot of us that had been entrepreneurs in our own sense. If you look at some of the team that he’s built, a lot of us have done that before. So he went, “Okay, I’m trying to build something. I need people that can be self-motivated, and creative, and hard-working to do something brand new.” And frankly, enter a managed WordPress space that was already quite crowded, right? And come in and say, “We don’t necessarily need to be number one, but maybe we can be a solid number two or a number three choice.” That’s what we aimed to do.

Liam: I was intrigued when you talked about Chris framing this project that he wants you to address or lead under that project by talking about it in terms of relevant and struck a chord with you talking about political this and political terms down rather than using technology. That’s really interesting, that choice of communication. Because in effect, the work’s the same. Whatever it is, it’s put on advantage, get new clients, it’s bring money into the organization and in some way but framing it in a way that empowers you to say, “I totally get what that means. I know how to do that.” It’s a different playing field, it’s technology, it’s not politics. That’s really interesting.

Lindsey: He’s really helped me grow a lot in the last– because I’ve almost been there two years now. So he’s really helped me grow in that way. Yeah, I owe him a lot to be able to do that.

Liam: Sounds like it. Let me ask you this before we move too much further on. We’ve talked a lot about transitioning careers, we’ve talked about starting new relationship, we’ve talked about motherhood and getting back into the workplace. What’s been your biggest challenge to date and how have you overcome it, or if it’s ongoing, how are you continuing to address it?

Lindsey: My biggest challenge– I have to take it immediately to personal level. I’m going to do this whole Cory Miller thing, just throw your heart out there. But I lost my brother last year, my little brother passed away after a long illness with multiple sclerosis. Really? You guys are really going to make me cry and have the moment.

Tara: Cory cried when he talked about this in Baltimore, by the way.

Lindsey: Oh, he talked about this in Baltimore? Okay. [laugh] I’m just kidding. Yeah. That has definitely been the biggest struggle. He was diagnosed when he was 15 and my father also has multiple sclerosis. There have been a lot of challenges with both of their health and watching them go through it. But in some way, it’s made us all really strong, and closer, and made me a better person, to be perfectly honest with you. But his death has been really tough. I mean, my son is one of the kindest, hardest souls on the planet. He had asked, “Daddy, why mommy was sad?” And he said, “Well, you know. Uncle Chris, he’s passed away and he’s gone.” And so, Caloway comes up and puts his hand on me and says, “It’s okay, mommy. I’ll go get him and I’ll bring him back to you.” Yeah, that’s been the hardest thing. It’s still a struggle. It was just us. Yeah, that’s definitely the hardest thing and I don’t know that you ever get over it. It’s still– and my friend said– she lost her daughter when we were in college. I was a president of the sorority and so I got to know her parents really well, she was one of my sorority sisters. And her mom and dad came over to my house and just as we were talking and she said, “It’s like walking around with a rock in your shoe. It’s always there. Some days, the rock kind of moves around and it’s easier as you’re going down the road. You know it’s there but you’re walking around and you’re still having a good time. But sometimes the rock hurts so bad you just have to stop and put your feet up.” I think that summarizes exactly how I feel. Some days it’s okay, and some days I just have to stop and take a break.

Tara: That’s a beautiful analogy, really. I’m so sorry, I followed your story a bit and can relate to it as well. We lost a brother at too young of an age, as well, when my children were small too. Their perspectives are heartwarming and they’re a treasure, and I can say that as they grow up, Chris will still be part of their life and their picture and their view of the world. It has dramatically impacted the kind of people that my kids have turned out to be to have that as part of their life. There’s grace in it but – okay we’re all going to be crying now!

Lindsey: I know, right? Thank you for sharing that. Absolutely. That’s something we can all understand, I think. Loss, we’ve all experienced it in one form or another. It kind of brings us together in a weird way, doesn’t it?

Tara: Yeah, unfortunately.

Liam: We all have that experience and it hits us all differently and through different people, at different times and different ways. That community of, “Yeah, I get that hurt.” And Lindsey’s hurt is different than Tara’s and different than mine but there’s a commonality there. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Tara: Yeah, the rock in the shoe.

Liam: It’s not easy to do publicly so thank you very much.

Lindsey: Absolutely.

Liam: Maybe I’ll ask you one more question and we’ll see where you take us. It’s about advice. The question is what’s the best advice you’ve ever been given or you’ve ever received or maybe you got from a book and have successfully implemented in your life?

Lindsey: I always have to take it back to Cory, don’t I?

Liam: Maybe not. If he’s not listening, you don’t have to.

Lindsey: Right? It shows you how integral he is to my life. He said something to me one time that’s always stuck. It’s, “Your amount of success is determined by the number of hard or difficult conversations you’re willing to have.” It kind of came up in regards to going back to work and me being really scared and it felt different. Again, going back a little bit to politics but I felt really comfortable giving advice or speaking up at a table with people because I knew that I knew my stuff. And then kind of go into this new world, I would have a lot of self-doubt. I was losing my confidence and still kind of struggled with that sometimes. But he said, “If you want to be successful with this, then it’s okay to have difficult conversations. And the amount of those that you’re willing to do will have a direct impact on how far you’re going to go.” Yeah, over the last couple of years, I have had to speak truth to power, so to speak, in my own little way at Liquid Web and be a little bit braver than I wanted to be in some of those situations. But it has had a correlation in how well I’ve done. I guess the fact that I still get paid and I still have a job there helps solidify that feeling a little bit.

Tara: Does mindfulness come into play with that at all, I would think? When you’re having those difficult conversations, sometimes we have knee-jerk conversations and then we have the difficult conversations that we really think about a lot before embarking on them. Do you differentiate between those?

Lindsey: I don’t know that I have a lot of difficult knee-jerk conversations. That’s just not my sale, I probably would be more of like, “Okay, I’m going to think about this for a couple of days and write notes.” Probably, if I ever have to have a tough conversation with you guys, I’m going to come with an outline. Because I really want to make sure that I think through it and I expect what rebuttals are going to come my way and have answers for those or examples for my point. Yeah, I don’t have many knee-jerk– at least in work. I’m more careful.

Liam: I think courage is a big part of that, right? We know the answer, we at least know the problem, we might not know the answer. It’s, do we have the courage to find a way to pipe up and say, “Here’s what I think the problem is. Here’s an answer. Here’s a solution. Or here’s a fault and you’re making it.” And to do it in a way that is constructive and supportive and ultimately toward success and not just throwing mud or throwing rocks over the wall. Yeah, I like that.

Lindsey: Absolutely. And it’s also not keeping it inside. Not letting it fester. You know that there’s an issue and, “I know how to fix that issue.” It doesn’t help to just tell your spouse and your friends about it, right?

Liam: It does in short-term, but in the long-term, it doesn’t resolve it.

Lindsey: [laughs] Exactly.

Tara: I think sometimes, those difficult conversations take a while to resolve. For me, personally, I sometimes have difficult conversations and feel very self-conscious about them until they have completed their process, if I’m making any sense. Are there times when that difficult conversation– when you wish that you didn’t have it, I guess is what I’m trying to ask? Even if you thought it out and outlined it and everything?

Lindsey: I don’t think so. You guys can probably tell just from the few minutes we’ve spent together today. I’m definitely one of those people that would rather get my feelings out and say the things that I want to say rather than holding onto it. And if I’m wrong and if that difficult conversation doesn’t go my way. I’m probably learning something from it. So I try to approach it that way.

Tara: Good, thanks for sharing that perspective.

Liam: It’s a skillset to learn how to talk about contentious issues in a way that enables us to share candidly but without attacking a person. And also hearing constructive feedback or even just straight up negative words that are intended to hurt and just not being hurt by them. They’re just not in a good place right now. And speaking of learning to speak tactfuly, I’m going to tactfuly share that we are out of time.

Tara: All done. You did a really good job with that.

Liam: Lindsey, this has been an absolute pleasure, thank you so much for your candid sharing with us. Before we say goodbye to you, will you let us and your listeners know where they can find you online, please?

Lindsey: Absolutely. I’m on Twitter at @lindseymillerwp and if you want to talk about anything regarding Liquid Web, it’s lmiller@liquidweb.com.

Tara: Thank you very much. Appreciate you being here today. Also, I want to acknowledge that Liquid Web has been an early supporter, and you specifically, an early supporter of this podcast and we’re really grateful for that. Thank you for being part of Hallway Chats since its very first episode.

Liam: Here, here.

Lindsey: My absolute pleasure.

Liam: Thank you. The trust has been wonderful. Thank you.

Tara: Thanks so much.

Liam: We’ll see you soon.

Tara: Bye-bye.

Lindsey: Bye.

Tara: If you like what we’re doing here – meeting new people in our WordPress community – we invite you to tell others about it. We’re on iTunes and at hallwaychats-staging.ulpgsyz6-liquidwebsites.com.

Liam: Better yet, ask your WordPress friends and colleagues to join us on the show. Encourage them to complete the “Be on the show” form on our site, to tell us about themselves.

Tara: If you like what we’re doing here – meeting new people in our WordPress community – we invite you to tell others about it. We’re on iTunes and at hallwaychats-staging.ulpgsyz6-liquidwebsites.com.

Liam: Better yet, ask your WordPress friends and colleagues to join us on the show. Encourage them to complete the “Be on the show” form on our site, to tell us about themselves.

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2 Comments

  1. Liam, Tara, wow …. you allowed one of the most special people in the world to open up her heart and share her priceless value she gives to me and those two tiny humans EVERY day. Thank you for that and the epic questions.

    Lindsey, somehow I love you even more. And can’t wait to be smiling in the crowd as you share your story again at WordCamp DFW this weekend! You inspire me in so many ways.

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